When Strong Women Break Too

Women are some of the most complex and incredible creations. We have risen in ways that continue to surpass expectations. We balance so much and constantly show up. We idealize our careers, we dream about success, and those dreams push us to keep going. We deeply care about our homes, making sure everything is running well. We love deeply and find ways to show our significant others just how much they mean to us. We romanticize love.

We show up for our families, often stretching our abilities in ways that go unnoticed. We rapidly shift from role to role career woman to wife, wife to mother, mother to friend, and beyond. The list goes on and on.

We are incredible.

And yes, we are incredibly strong.

But being strong does not mean we have it all together.

From time to time, we pretend. We mask our true feelings. We push through exhaustion and pressure because that is what we believe strong women do. In many ways, we are like tempered glass. We can hold weight and withstand pressure, but if struck the wrong way or neglected for too long, we shatter.

I know this because I have been there.

When I was younger, I was extremely career-driven. I am a first-generation professional in my family, the oldest daughter and older sister. I grew up hearing about the privilege and responsibility of being the first one to build a successful career and create a legacy for my family. I truly believed it was up to me to lead the way for those who would come after me. I felt like I had to get everything right.

So I poured everything into that mission. I worked tirelessly to be the best student and pursue the best opportunities. Nothing else mattered. I had to prove that everyone was right to trust me with this responsibility.

Until my body stopped me.

My health began to decline, and eventually I began losing mobility. My mind and body were under so much pressure that I did not realize the damage until one day I woke up and my legs were so weak that I could barely walk. I had worked so hard to move forward in life, and suddenly my own body would not allow me to take another step.

I was angry at my body for failing me. I shamed myself for it. I felt frustrated, confused, and deeply disappointed in myself.

But eventually, I came to a painful realization: I had done this to myself.

My mind had been under so much stress and pressure for so long that I never allowed it a healthy way to release that tension. My body had to speak for me. In fact, it had to scream.

“SLOW DOWN.”

Not long after, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder that I now have to manage carefully.

Through that experience, I learned something that was very difficult to accept at first: I can break too.

It was not until I accepted that I am not perfect and never will be that my mind and body slowly began to work together again.

What made the experience even harder was the shame I carried because of my profession. As a therapist, my role is to help others heal. Yet there I was, unable to help myself. At times, I felt like a fraud. I questioned myself and wondered how I could guide others when I was struggling so deeply.

But then I realized something important.

I am human.

Healing does not mean we never struggle. It means we are willing to face our struggles honestly.

So I began doing the work for myself. I started seeing my own therapist and began addressing the underlying trauma, stress, and burnout that I had ignored for so long.

And through that process, something beautiful happened.

I began to heal.

It started with my mental health learning to release the pressure I had carried for years, learning to be compassionate with myself, learning to slow down. And as my mind began to heal, my body slowly began to follow.

Today I carry a different understanding of strength.

Strength is not pretending we are unbreakable. Strength is recognizing when we are carrying too much and allowing ourselves the grace to pause.

Because the truth is this:

Strong women can break too.

And when we remember to care for ourselves with the same compassion we give to everyone else, we give ourselves the opportunity not just to survive but to truly heal.